Where had I stopped? Ah yes, when I went to talk to Rebecca... What an unfortunate moment...
As I said, the bell had rung for halftime and I was super happy I went towards her, of course with the mess of people getting up and running I was a little late, nervousness didn't help either, my heart felt like it was going to come out of my mouth , the usual you've seen in movies, so I don't do a monologue, but nothing beats the moment I walked out of the room, took a little run to catch up with Rebecca and her friends, and finally touched her shoulder, yeah ... I think I'm exaggerating when I say "touched my shoulder", the psychological pressure I was feeling was so much that I kind of gave her a really hard nudge, she, as usual, had gone to the school cafeteria and got a juice, and when I poked her, I kind of spilled some juice, but... Just a little bit, I couldn't even tell that her clothes were wet... And... A little of the sneakers too... And... The skirt ...
-Hi, Rebecca... T-all right?
-Look what you did boy! Don't you pay attention!?
-S-sorry, it wasn't because I wanted to, I just wanted to tell you something...
Has it ever happened to you when you want something so bad and you focus on getting it that you end up being blind to everything, you ignore absolutely everything, a noise, a look, everything, that's what happened to me, I didn't hear her scream was so loud that caught the attention of a lot of people, I didn't notice everyone looking at me, I was holding a matchbox in one hand and a golden present in the other with an attempt to hide it behind my back, I was also sweating a lot... I really wasn't in my best shape.-What the fuck do you want to talk about boy, look what you did! It got me all wet – she wasn't all wet to begin with, I just hit a glass of juice, I didn't throw the waterfall at her.
-I wanted to give you this and say...
I had given her the gift and her cold look was as if... I really don't want to talk about this part, I'll just continue...
-I wanted to give you this and say that... And say that I always liked you and I don't know if I can say this, but I think it was love at first sight, since the first year I look at you and every time I look at you I feel a comfort in my heart, everyone tells me that you're mean and everything and I always fight with them, how they can't see how nice, kind, confident, fearless and... – at that moment I had handed over the gift and she was holding it with one hand and with the glass of juice almost all spilled with the other, while I, was taking the ring, I felt free as if I could say everything, a priceless feeling of freedom - and... handing you this ring as a token of my love, I would love for you to accept it, Becca.
I regret and hate myself for getting down on one knee like I was going to ask her to marry me, what about Becca? Where did that come from, was it supposed to be a nice and endearing nickname? Okay, Becca is not a bad nickname, but the way I said it wasn't the best, but it was okay. -Becca? – Rebecca had a look of disgust and a little cold looking at me, looking me up and down thinking "Did he fall in love with me?", okay... I'm not that handsome, nor the strong and athletic guy, I am just me, tall, thin and any clothes are too big for me, in terms of fashion I'm not up to date, so even with all that I don't think it's cool that she thought that, in fact I don't even know what she thought why don't I read it minds, but I think that's what she thought... I'm explaining something unnecessary, let me focus... Right... She took the ring and – What rubbish is that piece of iron, I bet it's brass...
-No... It's actually...
-Stay quiet boy, if you see who you are? I don't even know your name, did you say you look at me every day? God forbid stop looking at me you disgusting, and thinking that I was being looked at by a nothing like you, really? A ring? In a box of... What the hell is this box, and a gift in a golden package? What is this a book on how to be a good wife?
The ring really wasn't a good idea, damn it, if it wasn't for the ring, there was a chance it would work...
"Don't ever talk to me again, never look at me I'm sick to death just thinking that a boy like you likes me, yuck, what a rubbish" She took the golden gift and simply dropped it on the floor, then took the ring and looked at it. with a look of “a piece of metal with no gems? Serious?" and threw it in my face.
I stood there kind of... Sorry... I still can't express what I felt that day, but it's something that just remembering makes my stomach turn, what a feeling...
She soon after that took the juice and turned it over my head saying "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth"One inexplicable thing that I can explain is that I really wanted to get into a hole and disappear from there, but I was so, so shaken that I just couldn't find a "hole" to hide, I thank Alex so much I think, I don't have sure if he was the one who picked me up and took me to a more hidden place, I just couldn't see anything, I could only hear the laughter and people saying “Poor him”.
Then I didn't know how much time had passed but for me it was a long time, my sister had arrived with a towel in her hands, and I swear I thought she would laugh at me as she promised, it was the opposite, she asked my friends to leave us alone and she dried my hair in complete silence, without outlining any emotion of happiness or pity, I don't know how but I think I needed it at that moment, so much so that even with such unhappiness in my heart I couldn't cry or say anything, it was just with my sister around that I managed to alleviate some of that feeling.
-You were right, I shouldn't have done that...
-Don't blame yourself, you did your best, but she didn't recognize it...
-I shouldn't have done it, I should have taken that happy feeling and buried it with many others, so I could live without this humiliation...
-Art, doesn't say anything, just... just...
I don't think even she could express her own feeling, at that moment her neutral face broke, she had a sad face and a dose of guilt, I don't know exactly why she blames herself, but I felt it was better not to talk nothing, and there we stayed for the rest of the break, her stroking my semi-dry hair while I was sad looking at the wall.The rest of the school time wasn't very good either, Alex and Mia looked at me with pity and anger at the same time for what Rebecca did, the worst thing is that the whole class was talking about it and Rebecca just ignored everyone and I keep talking about their everyday business, like I'm not there and like I don't exist, not even an ounce of regret, it was like my feelings were getting a stab from her, and she doesn't even look as she murders my feelings, a sensation really bad...
I know I didn't do any lessons from any teacher, and I also don't remember how I got home, but I did, and when I saw my bed, it was as if a tiny happiness appeared with a desire to end that day and start another as if nothing had happened. , But it was not like that...
I had a kind of reflective moment, where I took a bath, I don't know, for a few hours, and when I left I had a little determination so that when I slept everything would change, I would turn the page, one day at a time until this page was so far away that I don't even remember her.
As I said, the bell had rung for halftime and I was super happy I went towards her, of course with the mess of people getting up and running I was a little late, nervousness didn't help either, my heart felt like it was going to come out of my mouth , the usual you've seen in movies, so I don't do a monologue, but nothing beats the moment I walked out of the room, took a little run to catch up with Rebecca and her friends, and finally touched her shoulder, yeah ... I think I'm exaggerating when I say "touched my shoulder", the psychological pressure I was feeling was so much that I kind of gave her a really hard nudge, she, as usual, had gone to the school cafeteria and got a juice, and when I poked her, I kind of spilled some juice, but... Just a little bit, I couldn't even tell that her clothes were wet... And... A little of the sneakers too... And... The skirt ...
-Hi, Rebecca... T-all right?
-Look what you did boy! Don't you pay attention!?
-S-sorry, it wasn't because I wanted to, I just wanted to tell you something...
Has it ever happened to you when you want something so bad and you focus on getting it that you end up being blind to everything, you ignore absolutely everything, a noise, a look, everything, that's what happened to me, I didn't hear her scream was so loud that caught the attention of a lot of people, I didn't notice everyone looking at me, I was holding a matchbox in one hand and a golden present in the other with an attempt to hide it behind my back, I was also sweating a lot... I really wasn't in my best shape.-What the fuck do you want to talk about boy, look what you did! It got me all wet – she wasn't all wet to begin with, I just hit a glass of juice, I didn't throw the waterfall at her.
-I wanted to give you this and say...
I had given her the gift and her cold look was as if... I really don't want to talk about this part, I'll just continue...
-I wanted to give you this and say that... And say that I always liked you and I don't know if I can say this, but I think it was love at first sight, since the first year I look at you and every time I look at you I feel a comfort in my heart, everyone tells me that you're mean and everything and I always fight with them, how they can't see how nice, kind, confident, fearless and... – at that moment I had handed over the gift and she was holding it with one hand and with the glass of juice almost all spilled with the other, while I, was taking the ring, I felt free as if I could say everything, a priceless feeling of freedom - and... handing you this ring as a token of my love, I would love for you to accept it, Becca.
I regret and hate myself for getting down on one knee like I was going to ask her to marry me, what about Becca? Where did that come from, was it supposed to be a nice and endearing nickname? Okay, Becca is not a bad nickname, but the way I said it wasn't the best, but it was okay. -Becca? – Rebecca had a look of disgust and a little cold looking at me, looking me up and down thinking "Did he fall in love with me?", okay... I'm not that handsome, nor the strong and athletic guy, I am just me, tall, thin and any clothes are too big for me, in terms of fashion I'm not up to date, so even with all that I don't think it's cool that she thought that, in fact I don't even know what she thought why don't I read it minds, but I think that's what she thought... I'm explaining something unnecessary, let me focus... Right... She took the ring and – What rubbish is that piece of iron, I bet it's brass...
-No... It's actually...
-Stay quiet boy, if you see who you are? I don't even know your name, did you say you look at me every day? God forbid stop looking at me you disgusting, and thinking that I was being looked at by a nothing like you, really? A ring? In a box of... What the hell is this box, and a gift in a golden package? What is this a book on how to be a good wife?
The ring really wasn't a good idea, damn it, if it wasn't for the ring, there was a chance it would work...
"Don't ever talk to me again, never look at me I'm sick to death just thinking that a boy like you likes me, yuck, what a rubbish" She took the golden gift and simply dropped it on the floor, then took the ring and looked at it. with a look of “a piece of metal with no gems? Serious?" and threw it in my face.
I stood there kind of... Sorry... I still can't express what I felt that day, but it's something that just remembering makes my stomach turn, what a feeling...
She soon after that took the juice and turned it over my head saying "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth"One inexplicable thing that I can explain is that I really wanted to get into a hole and disappear from there, but I was so, so shaken that I just couldn't find a "hole" to hide, I thank Alex so much I think, I don't have sure if he was the one who picked me up and took me to a more hidden place, I just couldn't see anything, I could only hear the laughter and people saying “Poor him”.
Then I didn't know how much time had passed but for me it was a long time, my sister had arrived with a towel in her hands, and I swear I thought she would laugh at me as she promised, it was the opposite, she asked my friends to leave us alone and she dried my hair in complete silence, without outlining any emotion of happiness or pity, I don't know how but I think I needed it at that moment, so much so that even with such unhappiness in my heart I couldn't cry or say anything, it was just with my sister around that I managed to alleviate some of that feeling.
-You were right, I shouldn't have done that...
-Don't blame yourself, you did your best, but she didn't recognize it...
-I shouldn't have done it, I should have taken that happy feeling and buried it with many others, so I could live without this humiliation...
-Art, doesn't say anything, just... just...
I don't think even she could express her own feeling, at that moment her neutral face broke, she had a sad face and a dose of guilt, I don't know exactly why she blames herself, but I felt it was better not to talk nothing, and there we stayed for the rest of the break, her stroking my semi-dry hair while I was sad looking at the wall.The rest of the school time wasn't very good either, Alex and Mia looked at me with pity and anger at the same time for what Rebecca did, the worst thing is that the whole class was talking about it and Rebecca just ignored everyone and I keep talking about their everyday business, like I'm not there and like I don't exist, not even an ounce of regret, it was like my feelings were getting a stab from her, and she doesn't even look as she murders my feelings, a sensation really bad...
I know I didn't do any lessons from any teacher, and I also don't remember how I got home, but I did, and when I saw my bed, it was as if a tiny happiness appeared with a desire to end that day and start another as if nothing had happened. , But it was not like that...
I had a kind of reflective moment, where I took a bath, I don't know, for a few hours, and when I left I had a little determination so that when I slept everything would change, I would turn the page, one day at a time until this page was so far away that I don't even remember her.
It was then that I went to my bed and tried to sleep, but before I went to sleep I started to see the place that was all whitish, as if it had disappeared, that's when I jumped out of bed and fell out of it with a terrible headache, I couldn't see almost nothing because everything was spinning for me, the headache was so bad that my eyes were hurting, I had never felt that pain, a reference for men must be getting kicked in the balls, now think that the shoe that kicked you has needles , these needles were right, this pain was what I was feeling, with a long time it went away, and my senses were returning, I remember that after a while I noticed that my shirt was a little torn, I was all sweaty and some things around me were on the floor, there was a photograph that was next to my bed that fell on the floor and the glass broke, and seeing all this I noticed that my room was very bright, very bright, I looked at the window and the sun was there just rising , I thought I could have passed out there and stayed like that all night, but fate is not nice, when he hits you, it's not with pats, it's with the worst slaps of your life, so hard that it gets stuck in the essence of your being , I looked at the clock and there it was “Wednesday, 08:03”, I can't even believe the longest premonition I had was the worst day of my life, the worst isn't even that, of all the premonitions I've had. I had and tried to do the opposite to avoid, none had a change, everything always happens as it should, fate despite versatile the end is inevitable... Now tell me, how will I ever get the same day again? Ha ha, it seems, this time I'll change fate, I won't be rejected again for anything in the world!
[To be continued]
Translated by google translator
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